Hi friends – This note is for all of you who are married and are parents. If you are both and want to have a funtastic run in your most important partnership, then stay with me.
If you and your spouse do not have a common activity which you both enjoy, please find one right away and spend a good amount of time in it. Activity doesn’t mean binge watching Netflix! The activity should be something that you will cherish now and all your life, which will make your togetherness so much fun. If you don’t, then you will find a huge vacuum in your life when the kids become adults and go away. This vacuum has become the leading cause of divorce and psychologists have even coined a term for this, Gray Divorce. This typically happens after more than 20 years+ of married life. In recent years, this became mainstream knowledge after celebrities like Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Sylvester Stallone and so many more got divorced. Sometimes, it has resulted in more gruesome outcomes as can be seen in a host of recent domestic murder-suicide cases. I do not mean to scare you but introduce you guys to a stark reality which is striking at random in our modern world.
As parents we become so engrossed in bringing up our kids in the best possible manner that we forget to spend quality time with each other. Think about working all week long and then spending the weekend taking the kids from one activity to another. Occasional partying with friends and extended family also does not provide that “us time” which both you and your spouse truly need and deserve.
Before you know it, comes the time when the kids want to spend more time with their online or offline friends. Yes, we call it “pre-teen and teenage”. Even during this period, parents typically spend most of their time thinking about their kids and how to secure their future. Once the kids graduate high school and go away from your direct access to colleges, you feel lonely. And yes, there is a term coined for this also, “Empty Nest”.
So please, please, please research more into this issue and find something you guys would love to do now till your twilight years to have a more fulfilling life.
Cheers!
Sanjay